In a surprising twist on parenting advice, a sexuality education expert has advised parents to seek their infants’ consent before changing their diaper. Deanne Carson, a well-known person in the area, advanced this hypothesis during an ABC News interview in 2018, sparking widespread debate and controversy.
Carson, who has been involved in consent education since an early age, highlights the significance of instilling a culture of consent in the home beginning at birth. “We work with children from three years old,” she declared, “and with parents from birth.”
Her approach does not rely on verbal confirmation from infants, who are obviously incapable of expressing agreement, but rather encourages parents to engage in nonverbal communication. Carson believes that by making eye contact with the infant and monitoring his or her body language before changing the diaper, parents can demonstrate respect for their child’s bodily autonomy.
The proposal instantly elicited a variety of reactions. On social media, some people ridiculed her recommendations as ludicrous, questioning the practicality of waiting for a baby’s assent. Others expressed concern about the potential consequences of delaying a diaper change until an infant’s nonverbal clues revealed apparent assent.
Despite the skepticism, Carson’s approach offers parents actionable steps to take. “If you leave a space and wait for body language and wait to make eye contact, then you’re letting that child know that their response matters,” she tells me. She asserts that this technique aids in the development of consent by teaching infants at an early age to acknowledge their signs and feelings.
When a popular childcare chain purportedly took a similar approach, the controversy grew in scope. According to reports, Only About Children centers recommended parents seek their newborns’ cooperation during diaper changes, arguing for a dialogic approach even in the early stages of child care.
The mainstream media also criticized Carson’s views, with people like Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, dismissing the advice as “lefty lunacy.” Nonetheless, Carson vigorously defends her viewpoint, claiming that her method is consistent with international best practices in abuse prevention. She highlights the need for developing polite practices from an early age, since this can help prevent abuse.
Support comes from a variety of sources, including professionals in sexual violence prevention. Rape Crisis England and Wales representative Katie Russell adds that a mere practical perspective misconstrues Carson’s counsel. “She’s simply making the very reasonable case for establishing a ‘culture of consent’ in households and with children from the youngest possible age,” writes Russell.
This argument focuses on an important part of modern parenting and educational strategies: introducing the intricacies of permission and personal autonomy earlier in life as a preventative step against abuse.
As the talk progresses, it becomes evident that the underlying objective is not to complicate the basic care responsibilities of parenting but rather to build an environment in which respect for personal boundaries is instilled from the start.
