In a perfect world, you would never hear from your ex again after a breakup. Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world, and even when you block someone you don’t want to hear from, they somehow always find a way to reach out to you again.
Here are some of the most unbelievable messages people have gotten from their exes.
No Comment, Eh?
Lots of people have that ex that act as though they have a right to be irritable when you call them out for their wrongdoing. Even though they were the ones who clearly did something wrong, you get to be treated like a nuisance for bringing up what they did.
But hey, it kind of makes sense that the presumed girl in this exchange loves exactly the type of terrible person that she probably is. Many of us know an ex that was far too in love with themselves.
Is That All You Are Worth?
One message that most people don’t like to get from their ex is one that suggests they get back together. Even worse is a message like this one — in which the ex offers to get back together with you, but only if you pay them, apparently.
We don’t need to mention how insulting that is for the person getting the message, but wouldn’t you also be insulting yourself if you proclaimed that your time was only worth a whopping $50? Seems kind of pitiful, doesn’t it?
What Kind of Description Is That…?
OK — so this one isn’t exactly a message from an ex, but it’s an ex talking about a certain someone, so it still kind of fits here. Either way, it’s pretty obvious that the ex feels as though they were the one who got the short end of the stick.
We find that it’s always a bad idea to post stuff like this on social media if you’re the one who was problematic. After all, you’re kind of just opening yourself up to ridicule from others, much like what you can see here.
No Discounts for You
We’re not sure what’s actually being sold in this exchange, but we don’t have to. What we’re really here to look at is the audacity of an ex asking for a discount and free shipping just because he or she used to date the seller.
We get it — everybody wants a discount. But, it’s kind of low to try and bank on something like a past relationship as an excuse as to why you should be granted a discount. That just makes it sound like you view the past relationship as nothing more than a means to an end now.
Expectations Were Not Met
If you get a message from your ex that sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. In this case, it seems that an ex called this guy up in order to get him to go on a trip, but she didn’t tell him that she fully expected him to pay for the whole thing.
And of course, when he backs out of the proposal upon learning that, somehow he’s the bad guy. Remember, everyone — if you parted with your ex on bad terms, it’s unlikely that you are going to enjoy reopening your relationship with them in any capacity!
Aren’t You Married or Something?
One of the unbelievable things that exes love to do is send a message about how much they would love to see you again. The thing that is off-putting is the fact that they usually have a new significant other by then, meaning they’re looking to cheat on them with you.
Needless to say, the gumption of some people is pretty incredible. Who would actually hit up an ex so casually to try and hook up with them when they’re already in a new relationship? No wonder they were broken up with once already.
Wow, How Inconsiderate!
When you’re an artist of any sort, it seems like most everyone feels that your time or services aren’t worth that much, even your ex. This ex had the audacity to ask for free services from this photographer, and then even went so far as to get mad when that was refused.
Apparently, the photographer in question is the rude, inconsiderate one. You know, we’re pretty sure we can see why these two broke up. There’s clearly not a whole lot of two-way respect going on here. Heck, the guy didn’t even really ask for payment — just dinner!
Not Going Far Enough for You
You know you’re an entitled ex when you have the audacity to be upset that your past beau isn’t taking a favor far enough. The guy in question here is already doing the laundry when he really doesn’t have to, but apparently, not folding them means the entire gesture is moot.
Gratitude? Why would he deserve that? Sure, it’s not like doing the laundry is a particularly tough thing to do, but we still feel that people deserve thanks for doing things they didn’t necessarily have to do. Are we just old-fashioned?
Is That How it Is?
Lots of breakups happen because one partner cheats on the other. But, the justification for those instances varies wildly. In the case of this couple, apparently, the cheating was perfectly fine from the woman’s perspective… because it made her happy.
We suppose everyone is entitled to pursue happiness and all that, but the fact that she claims the guy should be happy about it too just because she’s happy is pretty unbelievable. It’s probably a good thing that these two broke up.
All the Wrong Motivations
There are many reasons to get married or not get married. But this ex, who has moved on from the person she’s talking to, is basing it all on money. Apparently, there was an offer on the table from her ex regarding some funding, but she waited way too long to act on it.
We don’t have all the details on how this situation went down, but it’s obvious that the person who’s so focused on the money here doesn’t have the right motivation for talking to her ex or getting married. Some people have really odd standards.
So Confused Right Now
Getting conflicting messages from your ex is something a whole lot of us have experienced. Usually, it’s some sort of rambling text from them at a weird time of day, as can be seen here. Frankly, we’re not sure what the ex is trying to say.
It sounds like they’re trying to wistfully compliment the relationship they lost, but at the same time, they’re trying to subtly remind their old partner that they owe them money? What exactly are you trying to say here, man?
Totally Inappropriate Questions
Have you ever gotten a super inappropriate text message from your ex, and seemingly out of nowhere at that? Believe it or not, that actually happens quite a bit. You’re sitting at home, minding your business, and suddenly someone you’ve completely forgotten about texts you out of the blue with something like this.
His exact request is censored, of course, but we’re sure most of your readers know very well what he was asking. It definitely sounds like he wasn’t in the right state of mind when he sent this text — unless he’s always like that, which would be disturbing.
Need a Slice of Humble Pie?
There are all sorts of exes out there, but the downright delusional ones are some of the weirdest, if you ask us. Granted, a lot of exes are delusional, but you don’t often see them referring to themselves as a ‘god.’ That’s about as pretentious as you can get.
This was clearly a bragging and ego-stroking message disguised as a compliment, which is also a secret technique that a lot of exes are very good at. It’s kind of uncanny, really.
Brought This One on Yourself
Some of the most unbelievable texts from your ex is the text that ended up making them your ex in the first place. Apparently, this guy wasn’t happy with the fact that his girlfriend had cancer, so he decided to break up with her. Pretty low, but we suppose not everyone is equipped to handle that.
Still, if you were going to punch below the belt like that, the least you could do is break up in person, right? Doing it over text is just in bad taste. Still, that doesn’t justify the destruction of someone’s property.
Did You Really Think That Would Work?
It’s honestly surprising how many exes think they can win someone back through a simple gesture when they utterly betrayed their trust and feelings. This is just one example of someone who honestly thought some roses were going to repair their dead relationship.
It’s no surprise that he got those roses back, and not in the same way he delivered them. Honestly, if you completely betrayed someone, you should probably just cut your losses and move on, rather than make desperate ploys like this one.
Lost in the Divorce
One of the things lost in a breakup usually includes access to things like streaming services and other online joys. But, most people understand that they don’t get to keep those things when they break up with the person who’s paying for them.
Not this ex. In fact, they’re quite tilted about the fact that the person they broke up with isn’t willing to share those things anymore. They’re even trying to cheat their way back into the fold. Honestly, it’s just kind of pathetic.
Is This Really Your Best Attempt?
There are many ways you can try to get your ex back if you’re really determined to do so. Most of them won’t work, but you can try them. But, out of all the things you could try, we’re not sure who would think referencing the Super Bowl is a good idea.
Like really, does that seem very romantic? Not to say that there aren’t girls who like football out there, as there most certainly are, but even so, we can’t think of too many people who would be convinced by a message like this one.
I Really Wasn’t Missing That, Dude
It’s not that this ex sent any sort of offensive message, but this text is unbelievable for a different type of reason. It’s really just weird that he thought his ex was even aware that she had lost a bottle of shampoo or something.
Well, maybe he was actually trying to start a conversation or something, but it was certainly a bit of a weird attempt if that was really what he was going for. Maybe he was desperate enough to try anything, even something silly like this?
All the Cringe
Speaking of the worst conversation starters an ex could possibly come up with, here’s one that relies on stimulus checks. Needless to say, the entire thing is pretty darn cringeworthy. It’s not romantic in the slightest.
Maybe there’s someone out there who would actually think this is clever, but we don’t know who that would be. It’s amazing what kind of ridiculous dredge an ex will come up with in order to try and start a conversation with their ex-partner.
If You Say So
Some of the messages you get from your ex are not the kind you would usually expect. They aren’t always trying to get back with, but that doesn’t mean they are any less weird. For instance, this text notification that the ex is going to stop talking to you out of respect for their new wife.
That’s great and all, but it’s not like the person here was the one trying to talk to the ex, it was the other way around. It just sounds like he thought she really cared whether or not he was messaging her.
Just Being Polite, Man
Not everyone breaks up with their ex on bad terms. Sometimes, you might be ok with still talking to them every once in a while, or maybe wishing them a happy holiday at the very least. But unfortunately, that kind of politeness doesn’t always work out in your favor.
We’re not sure what got this ex in such a wistful and philosophical mood, but apparently, a wish for a happy Hannukah was enough for it to happen. Why is it that exes send such weird messages? They’re always so odd.
But You Started It
Some exes are both stupid and needlessly aggressive. Here’s a fine example of one who went out of their way to message and insult their old partner, then demanded that said partner not text them back. Well, that’s kind of hypocritical, isn’t it?
Of course, there aren’t too many exes you can expect to be logical and rational. That’s a hard thing to ask of an ex most of the time. Still, this is a pretty good excuse to just go ahead and block this annoying individual.
I Think I’m Being Insulted
Getting a text from your ex is rarely a fun occurrence, but what makes it weird often varies. In this example, it’s really just a strange message about how some off-the-wall nonsense reminded the ex of their partner. This would be concerning for anyone.
Like, care to elaborate? What about those things reminds you of me? What exactly are you trying to say? It definitely doesn’t sound like anything good. How can you just say something like that and not explain further?
What Kind of Example Indeed?
Lots of people have an annoying ex, but having an ex that feels entitled to your time and attention even after you break up has to be one of the worst kinds out there, don’t you think? We’re not sure what this person was thinking when they offered up free services from their ex.
Heck, just doing that alone is bad enough. No one likes to be promised to a stranger for free, regardless of what your relationship is with them. It’s both rude and incredibly disrespectful of what someone does for a living.
I’m Begging You
You lose a lot of things in a breakup, but one of the things you might not lose in the divorce is the password to your ex’s streaming services, though that’s usually just because they forgot to change that password when you left. If they’re paying for it, they have every right to cut you off.
But of course, a lot of people feel entitled to mooch streaming services off of others — even when they weren’t in a relationship previously. Obviously, many exes try to keep these lingering benefits for as long as they possibly can.
Of All the People to Ask
It’s not that you have to be on bad terms with your ex. In fact, it’s perfectly possible to end up on fairly friendly terms with your ex, because not all breakups are for bad reasons. That said, if you had to ask someone for money, would it really be your ex?
Moreover, can the person asking for this favor really not afford a bag of dog food? We get that dog food isn’t necessarily cheap, but if you can’t afford that, you might have a bigger problem on your hands.
Not My Type of Business Transaction
One of the worst types of exes out there includes the one who tries to rope you into a bad business deal. We’re not sure what this guy is trying to do, but asking for VA benefits from your ex in order to get a house is pretty crazy.
He goes even further by asking for financial support beyond that. Frankly, we’re not against the idea of helping people out sometimes, but we do believe that there’s a limit to how much you’re obligated to assist those around you, especially your ex.
Oh Yeah, That’s Definitely It
A lot of exes try to find some deeper explanation as to why they broke up with you. Sometimes, it’s aggravating — other times, it’s just plain amusing. Obviously, this ex was doing some crazy mental gymnastics to reach the conclusion made here.
It’s also a little insulting to vegans, but that’s kind of a moot point considering the entire content of this message. At the very least, the whole thing is quite amusing. Stupid, but very amusing.
Take a Hint, Man
There are a lot of exes out there that just don’t know how to take a hint. They try and try again to get back together with you, no matter how obvious you make it that you really aren’t interested in doing so. Here’s an unbelievable example of one such ex.
When the person you are texting isn’t even really bothering to truly answer you, it’s probably a sign that you should just accept reality and move on. Clearly, they have no intention of interacting with you at that point.
Who Opens a Conversation Like That?
When you just can’t think of a way to open a line of conversation with your ex, you’ll pick just about anything in order to get it done. Even if it’s unbelievably weird and super gross. Who would even ask a question like this, never mind start a conversation with it?
Or maybe he or she was asking a serious question about the loofa? Who knows, they could actually be curious. Although we doubt it, as they were probably just looking for a way to get in. It probably also didn’t work.
It’s Going to Take More Than That
Let’s say you want to try and get your ex to hook up with you again. How will you try to persuade them, especially during the pandemic? Apparently, you are just going to try and use drinks. Not that those aren’t nice, but it’s not really that enticing.
We get that some people get lonely, but really, just find another way to get the socialization you need. Talk to your parents or something. Hang out with your friends. Very rarely does your ex actually want to see you, you know?
Oh, Your Dog Can Text?
There are many things that make this text from an ex unbelievable. First of all, it starts off by saying something incredibly scandalous out of nowhere. Then after that, the ex tries to claim that it was not him who made that text, but rather, his dog.
We don’t know what was going through his head when he made that excuse, but the fact that he thought it would work at all is pretty ridiculous. He couldn’t have at least blamed a friend or something? At least that could be believed.
Nice Bait, No Dice
Can’t convince your ex to come back to you with words? Maybe you can try and lure them back with an item that was supposedly left behind by them? If it’s of enough value, it just might work, and you’ll be able to see them again.
That said, you would probably have to use something a bit more valuable than a dollar, don’t you think? It would probably cost more than a dollar for your ex to even get to your house, so something like that probably isn’t going to work.
