A TikTok video has sparked heated debate among parents regarding when they should stop giving Christmas gifts to their adult children.
Marty and Nikki, parents to three grown children aged 29, 23, and 22, along with several in-laws and grandchildren, have long upheld the tradition of buying presents for everyone in the family.
This year, however, their children suggested trying a Secret Santa exchange among the adults, marking a shift from individual gifts to a more communal approach.
While Nikki expressed excitement about the change, she also felt a sense of loss, stating that it “still feels super weird to not be buying for each one of the kids.”
Nikki admitted that it made her happy to see her children open “10 things each” every year, and she loved buying gifts for them.
But she also questioned how long she could continue this tradition, recognizing the practical implications of giving multiple gifts to adult children, especially as the family grows.
Marty and Nikki have always been generous with their children, not only during the holidays but in other aspects of their lives as well.
From contributing to weddings and house purchases to attending baby showers and engagement parties, the couple has continued to support their children in various ways.
However, with their family expanding, Nikki began to wonder if it was time to adjust the holiday gift-giving tradition.
As she explained, “How long can I really continue to do this?” Her internal conflict resonates with many parents facing the reality that their children are becoming adults, making it harder to maintain the same level of gift-giving.
The TikTok video soon garnered responses from other parents, many of whom shared their personal experiences with similar dilemmas.
One social media user remarked, “I will buy for my kids till I die lol,” emphasizing a strong desire to maintain the tradition.
Meanwhile, another commenter revealed they give their children $500 each, even though they are both in their late twenties and still in college.
Others expressed that they continue to buy gifts for their children into their thirties.
A parent wrote, “Mine are in their 30s and we still spend as much as we did when they were little,” indicating that some parents are committed to upholding the holiday tradition for as long as possible.
Yet, some parents recognize the importance of scaling back, especially as their children become more self-sufficient.
One user shared that this year, their family would “play games and win gifts,” acknowledging that it was time to reduce the amount spent on presents.
Another commenter, more focused on experiences than material items, suggested, “Experiences are better. Do something special. Make a memory.”
Experts in family dynamics and etiquette agree that navigating this change in tradition should be done with care.
Anna Post, a spokesperson for the Emily Post Institute, recommends open communication when altering long-standing customs.
She advises that “the earlier you make changes to established traditions, the more time people have to get used to the idea.”
The financial aspect of holiday gift-giving also plays a significant role in this debate.
A survey revealed that 79.2% of participants favored banning gifts for adults to alleviate the financial burden, with the average Australian household spending around $2,265 on Christmas festivities.
The issue of managing holiday expenses, particularly in larger families, is certainly a factor contributing to the conversation around gift-giving.
While the sentiment of giving remains strong, the practicality and financial implications are increasingly influencing parents’ decisions on when to stop giving gifts to their adult children.
As for Marty and Nikki, their family has already begun adjusting the tradition by embracing the Secret Santa idea.
But the change has left them questioning how much longer they should maintain the same level of holiday gifting for their adult children.
The larger issue at play is one many families face: how to adapt holiday traditions as children grow into adults, balancing love and generosity with the realities of adulthood.
In the end, the decision of when to stop buying Christmas presents for adult children is deeply personal.
For some, it’s about continuing the tradition as long as possible, while for others, it’s a time to embrace new ways of celebrating. As Nikki admitted, “It’s still hard, but maybe it’s time.”
Featured Image Credit: (TikTok/ @martyandnikki)