Many of Taylor Swift’s most famous songs are diss tracks about ex-boyfriends. From high school sweethearts who paid the price for doing her wrong and taught her to turn her pain into art, to recent boyfriends Joe Alwyn and Matty Healy.
Today, we take a look back at Taylor’s dating history, the songs that ex-flames like Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner, Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, and Tom Hiddleston inspired, and why they are never, ever, ever, getting back together.
Jordan Alford
Taylor Swift’s first major schoolgirl crush was Jordan Alford. They dated during their freshman year at Hendersonville High School in Tennessee.
Everything was hunky dory until Alford started seeing another girl called Chelsea, who happened to be a close friend of Taylor’s.
Chelsea said of Taylor, “We were kind of good friends at school, later… not so much.” Swift called Alford “narcissistic”
but he helped her learn to channel her emotions into songwriting, so we have him to thank for Taylor Swift’s first breakup burn track.
Picture to Burn
Taylor and Jordan’s split prompted her to write “Picture to Burn” about him. It was one of her first collaborations with co-writer Liz Rose and appeared on her self-titled debut album.
The lyrics include, “I hate that stupid old pickup truck you never let me drive / You’re a redneck heartbreak who’s really bad at lying / So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time / As far as I’m concerned, you’re just another picture to burn.”
Jordan Alford later denied he was a redneck… and he married Chelsea!
Brandon Borello
Taylor Swift and Brandon Borello were also high school sweethearts. However, the romance was doomed as Brandon had to move away for college.
Taylor was heartbroken at the thought of being abandoned and wrote two songs about Borello. Surprisingly, both tracks were actually quite nice.
Swift first performed “Our Song” at her school talent show. But where did Taylor write it? Well, as any Swiftie knows, she “
was ridin’ shotgun with my hair undone, in the front seat of his car. I grabbed a pen and an old napkin. And I wrote down our song.”
Tim McGraw
After Brandon callously abandoned Taylor to go to university, the devastated songwriter penned “Tim McGraw”
with Liz Rose for her self-titled debut studio album. She explained, “It was with this guy I was dating, and he was about to go off to college, and I was thinking about all the things that I knew would remind him of me.”
Taylor told USA Today in 2006 that Brandon bought her first album and “really loved it, which is sweet. His current girlfriend isn’t too pleased with it, though.”
Sam Armstrong
With Brandon’s departure to college, young Taylor soon moved on to Sam Armstrong. While still in high school, she fell head over heels for the lucky young man.
But the romance crashed and burned as Taylor soon discovered Sam had also been seeing another girl behind her back.
She definitely knows how to pick ’em!
Sam Armstrong’s transgression saw him go down in history. This was the boyfriend who helped Taylor Swift perfect her trademark and winning formula of breakup burn songs.
Should’ve Said No
From Tammy Wynette to Dolly Parton, female country artists famously unleash their feelings through their music.
And when Taylor ditched Sam for cheating, she didn’t hold back! The lyrics for “Should’ve Said No” include the lines, “
You say that you’d take it all back / given one chance / It was a moment of weakness / and you said ‘Yes.’”
The song’s title comes into play with the line, “I shouldn’t be asking myself, ‘Why?’ You shouldn’t be begging for forgiveness at my feet.
You should’ve said ‘No,’ baby, and you might still have me.”
Joe Jonas
T-Swizzle’s first famous boyfriend was Joe Jonas, whom she met while supporting the Jonas Brothers on their Burnin’ Up tour.
They began dating in July 2008, and the media lapped up their relationship. For a hot minute, they were seen everywhere together.
But then, after just three short months, in October 2008, Joe dumped Taylor in the worst way imaginable, spurring Swift to scribe a squadron of songs throwing shade at Joe.
And when you find out how he kicked her to the curb, you’ll agree that he deserved it.
Forever and Always
Joe dumped Tay in a 27-second phone call. Ouch! She says “Forever and Always” is about “watching somebody completely fade away in a relationship and wondering what you did wrong.”
“Last Kiss” and “Holy Ground” are also about Jonas.
In 2009, Swift hosted Saturday Night Live and said, “You might think I’d bring up Joe, that guy who broke up with me on the phone. But I’m not going to mention him in my monologue. Hey, Joe! I’m doing really well, and I’m hosting SNL!”
Lucas Till
Taylor met Hollywood heartthrob Lucas Till when they both appeared in Hannah Montana: The Movie. Lucas played Miley Cyrus’s love interest while Taylor made a cameo and performed her song “Crazier.” They dated while filming the movie between April and May 2009, before realizing they were better suited as friends.
At the time, Lucas said, “We just really both liked each other…[but] most relationships work out ’cause you get along and then you don’t, and then you makeup, and it’s passionate.”
However, this romance was devoid of passion.
You Belong With Me
After Lucas McGyvered his way out of the relationship, he told MTV, “We dated for a little bit. But there was no friction because we were too nice; I really just liked her as a friend. That’s the only reason that didn’t work out.” For once, Taylor didn’t write a song about this breakup.
You can’t turn your pain into art if it doesn’t hurt. Right, Swifties? However, Lucas Till did appear in her “You Belong With Me”
music video in 2009. He won her heart by playing the next-door neighbor. Awww!
Taylor Lautner
The year was 2009, and the Twilight saga had reached a fever pitch. Then, on a dark, autumn night, a young chanteuse named Taylor bumped into a hunky young werewolf also named Taylor. Luckily, it wasn’t a full moon, so she didn’t get eaten. In fact, the two Taylors met when they co-starred in the rom-com Valentine’s Day.
Yes, folks, this was the famous Taylor and Taylor relationship the tabloids had been waiting for! Now, if only they could think of a witty portmanteau… The witty portmanteau they came up with was Taylor/Taylor.
